Treatmebetta

One of my best friends comes from a large family. She has at least a dozen sisters — I’m exaggerating, but not by much — and she just told me a story about one sister and another sister’s child that made my blood boil.

To preserve their privacy, we’ll call the child Izzy, her mother’s name is Lace and the mother’s sister’s name is Loni. Well, Izzy asked her aunt Loni to provide her with a reference. Nothing spectacular about that. Loni has excellent credentials and as a highly decorated, formally educated educator, she should be well able to articulate all of the truest, most flattering, most suitable attributes that an employer would like to hear about a prospective employee. 

Now, lemme give you some more background, so you understand the severity of this particular sketch. Izzy is technically still employed at a place that has quiet fired her, a la, they give her no hours, but she’s still technically on the payroll, and because of this she can’t secure her full unemployment. Loni knew this. 

So, why did Loni give her a shitty reference and cost her the job? Why did she flat out lie and cast a narrative so damning, there was no other reasonable alternative but to dismiss poor Izzy from the running?

Shocked? I know I was! I musta cussed a blue streak and called this person I’ve never met everything but a child of God because why, in the name of all that’s holy and good and well fucking paid, would you stand in the way of a Black woman and a pay check? Your niece at that!

Well, maybe it wasn’t her who gave the bad reference. Nice try dissenting voices of reason. We investigate around here, and the recruiter at the job poor Izzy will never get was kind enough to share some of what was said by the “disturbing” reference. It’s clear who is the culprit because that culprit shared personal information that the other references simply were not privy to.  

If that’s not enough to convince you of this woman’s evil deeds, my friend also fell afoul of this so-called sister with a bad reference. So, history, in this case, does in fact repeat itself. 

All Skin Folk Ain’t Kin Folk

So, what is the lesson here?

There are a few. One, all kin folk ain’t skin folk. Sometimes it be your own family who will fuck you over, and when they do — this brings me to lesson two — believe it. Do not for one second wonder if it’s true, or why would they do it, none of that matters in the least. Lesson number two is to believe the mayhem. Believe it, don’t forget it, and do not give that particular demon a chance to singe you with more fire at some later date. 

I’ll give a third lesson, because three is a spiritually conducive number. Follow your gut. In this rather wretched tale no one told me there were hints that Loni was this fucking toxic. But I imagine there were some. It’s just that, she’s family. She would never — yes she would. There were signs. The other family members just ignored them — to their detriment. 

Now there’s anger and heartbreak, and one very disturbed niece who is still out of a job. Even worse? My friend has no intention of addressing this with Loni. None of the sisters do. Apparently, Loni is miserable and unstable, and no one wants to be responsible for her doing something that she might regret.

Me?

I say if you’re feeling froggy jump. Because whatever someone does, there are consequences, and that person should be made to pay those consequences. Otherwise, how will they learn what is and is not acceptable behavior?

Family shouldn’t get away with fucking over family, just because they’re family. That’s insane, unjust, unhinged, retarded — do not come for me with any politically correct BS, I use that word how it should be used — and plain old ugly. 

I hope Izzy doesn’t take this debacle to heart. I hope she feels the betrayal, allows herself to be angry and any other emotion that her human spirit requires before she processes it, continues her job search and lands an even better position than the one she was unjustly robbed of. Because there is nothing better and more satisfying than to triumph in the face of heaux shit. 

I’ve already told my friend that Izzy can happily — and safely — use me as a reference.