Treatmebetta

Navigating the corporate workplace, or any workplace, really, can be challenging for anyone. But for Black women, the journey often feels like a high-stakes balancing act. Worse, the balls that you’re juggling may spontaneously change size and weight, but you still have to keep them up in the air. 

The pressure to perform, the loneliness of often being the only one in the room, and the constant battle we face combatting the stereotypes that others are quick to try and attach to us, create a unique set of challenges. But thriving — and not just surviving — is possible with discipline and determination. Often all Black women need are actionable strategies to help guide us in how best to excel in our careers and how to prioritize our well-being without losing ourselves in the process.

Recognize Your Right to Be in the Room

Let’s start there. We have the right to be in any room we enter. A lot of the bravado society and the media like to portray when they offer stories — or caricatures — of Black women is simply not real. Or, those frequently half-baked stories of strength and resilience — you’ve no doubt seen any number of cartoons of black women with capes billowing in an imaginary wind and plush, black top knots aloft with baby hairs shining — become the primary narrative. 

The problem is, those antiquated or inaccurate tropes completely ignore the other aspects of Black womanhood that stand right beside that indomitable strength, the things that make us human. We’re not just strong. We’re soft too. We get scared. We are feminine, and we experience all kinds of joy. 

Despite what society may think, we are real women. Real women are multi-dimensional. We bleed when cut. We cry when we’re sad. We laugh when something is funny. And we are not always strong. 

Imposter syndrome is actually a common struggle among many high-achieving Black women. Despite our qualifications and achievements, our skills and passion, the endless parade of microaggressions that we have to field in traditional workplaces, in addition to doing our jobs, creates a lot of stress, anxiety and doubt — and that’s on top of the stress that comes from the job itself. 

We’re constantly wondering: Do I belong here? 

We thought we had what it takes, but why can’t we fit in? Why do we doubt the sincerity of those around us because, frankly, they do make us wonder. Who wouldn’t when you’re met with a consistent diet of backhanded compliments and facial expressions that show disdain or displeasure even as the lips attached to that face speak another message altogether. And then there’s that charming sneak diss tactic, where we do something wrong, and instead of bringing it to us, our coworkers go straight to our boss. And instead of the boss coming straight to us, they sit on valuable feedback until there’s more of it — from others — and then hit us with it all at once — months later, when it’s too late to do anything about it. 

This kind of nonsense can create a nagging doubt about whether we truly belong in that space, and it can be overwhelming. And in the absence of on-the-job support, of advocates and mentors, the importance of sincerely acknowledging our right to be in the room falls squarely onto our shoulders. We have to remind ourselves that our skills, experience, and perspectives are valuable assets that have rightfully earned us a place at the proverbial table.

Actionable Tip: Start each day by reminding yourself of your accomplishments and the unique value you bring to your role. This mental reinforcement can help counteract feelings of self-doubt — especially when the smiling demons come nibbling at your self-esteem.

Assert Your Presence with Confidence

Taking up space in professional settings is crucial for career growth, yet it can be daunting, especially in environments where you are in the minority. Caring for your mental health becomes critical because you will need to consistently reinforce your boundaries and your well-being in order to sustain momentum on the job. Exercise, even therapy are all options that enable you to center and calm yourself, regulate your system, process any negative feelings that come up and manage the anxiety that operating in doubtful situations can produce.

Actionable Tip: Before meetings, prepare your talking points and decide what you want to contribute. Reaching out to the meeting organizer to add your points to the agenda can help you feel more confident and ensure your voice is heard. 

Another actional tip: Understand that you don’t always have to speak. Some would have you believe that you have to talk all the time to ensure that your voice is heard. I posit it’s more powerful to remain silent, listen, and only speak when you have something significant and well reasoned to offer. Think about that one silent coworker who never says much, but when he does talk, people always listen, don’t they?

Build a Network of Allies

Sometimes it can feel safer to remain aloof and avoid trying to build relationships with your peers. But cultivating a supportive network at work can significantly impact your career success and help to alleviate some of your stress. Just engage and share selectively and strategically. It may feel crappy to have to be on your guard, but it doesn’t have to be quite that harsh. 

Start by engaging in small talk with colleagues about safe, non-work-related topics like sports, TV shows or music. Choose these topics in advance. Look to pop culture for inspiration if your personal preferences lie outside the mainstream. These kinds of conversations can lay the groundwork for deeper connections over time — if you want. And in the meantime, engaging in a safe way will help you to feel less alone. 

Also, it can be advantageous to try to attend some of your company’s social events like happy hours or team lunches to build and strengthen the bonds between you and your peers. Avoid drinking too much to avoid trouble, though. I usually cap my alcohol intake at one or two drinks, and space them out with plenty of water and food. You don’t have to stay for the entire event. Prep your exit excuse in advance, if you need one. A sick pet or family member that you need to check on, for instance.

Actionable Tip: Recognize and celebrate your colleagues’ achievements. This not only builds goodwill, it establishes you as a good natured team player, which can enhance your influence within the workplace.

Create Safe Spaces Outside of Work

Your career is important, but it should not consume your entire life. I think it was Jim Rohn who said you should work as hard on yourself as you do on your job. That means take the time to identify and establish hobbies and safe spaces outside of work. This is essential to maintain your identity and well-being. Outside the office, surround yourself with people who know and appreciate all aspects of who you are when you take off your work coat. It’s important that you have an opportunity to exist in your real skin, not just in your professional persona, which may be quite different. These relationships outside the workplace can provide the support and perspective that you need to navigate workplace challenges.

I was lucky. I found several great friends at and through work, Black and Brown women in my age group who are genuine, generous, and who are as thoroughly invested in my success as I am in theirs. We help and encourage each other, hold each other accountable, and these relationships have helped to advance me both personally and professionally. It’s incredibly comforting to have friends by your side who understand intimately the nature of your experience at work. That knowing and connection makes them the ideal sounding board to bounce ideas off of and to strategize with. Just as they are the ideal recipients for your pleasure in accolades received, in a job well done, and in new things learned.

Actionable Tip: Dedicate time each week to a hobby or activity that brings you joy and gives you the space and freedom to decompress. This can be something you have loved since childhood, or it may be a new interest you’ve been meaning to explore. The goal is to create a balanced life outside the office that nurtures your mind, body, and spirit.

Advocate for Your Career Goals

One of the biggest mistakes high-achievers make is waiting for others to recognize their contributions. As a Black woman, you may literally be waiting forever. It’s not fair, but in order to truly thrive, you must learn to advocate for yourself. This involves clearly communicating your career goals and the support that you need to achieve them. You’ll need to frame your requests in a way that highlights how they will benefit the organization. For example, if you’re asking for professional development opportunities, explain how the new skills you’ll acquire will help your team achieve its goals. Provide as much detail as possible to make it clear that the company’s priorities are top of mind for you, and you see yourself as a lever to aid the organization in achieving future success.

Actionable Tip: Regularly schedule meetings with your supervisor to discuss your career development and track your progress. This keeps your goals at the forefront and ensures that you receive the support you need. Or, if you don’t, you’ll know that too, and you can act accordingly.

Transitioning from Survival Mode to Thriving

Living in survival mode, where far too many Black women dwell, can make every day feel like a struggle to make it through. This high stress, sometimes hopeless state of existence can take a significant toll on your mental and physical health. Recognizing the signs of survival mode, such as constant exhaustion, difficulty focusing on the future, and low frustration tolerance, is the first step in breaking free from it.

That’s often easier said than done, however. It requires that you take off that superwoman cape. You know the one, it gave life to that still small voice that says you can handle it. That you’ll get it done because you always do. I say nonsense, girl! Even if it’s true, why do you have to?

You deserve help. You deserve to rest. There is no shame in asking for the former when and where you need it, and demanding a consistent opportunity to do the latter, when and where you need it. The people around you will have to acclimate to your new world order, and you will have to stand firm in your boundaries to ensure that they — and you — do not fall back into old patterns of behavior that lead you to work too hard solving everyone else’s problems and neglect your own needs. 

For instance, when my family is being especially demanding, blowing up my phone with this issue and that issue, sometimes I give myself permission not to answer. It doesn’t feel good, but I’ve learned to beat that guilt back. I remind myself that these are adults. They’re not stupid. They will figure it out — or they’ll have to wait until I have the capacity to help. Period.

Focusing on yourself is not selfish. And that’s likely to be the first thing that comes out of someone’s mouth when they realize they no longer have the access to you that they once enjoyed. But think of your last plane ride. How the flight attendant instructed you to put your mask on first, knowing that if something does go down, you have to be straight in order to help anyone else. 

Actionable Tip: Educate yourself about the symptoms of survival mode and reflect on how they might be impacting you. Understanding these patterns can help you take steps toward healing and growth.

Combatting the Superwoman Schema

That superwoman cape is tricky though. Or should I call it sticky? Because it can be tough to take off. The myth of the “strong Black woman” has placed an enormous burden on Black women, compelling us to perform superheroic — also known as an endless stream of frequently inconvenient energy and resource draining — feats without acknowledging our own needs or the cost to our well being. This expectation, from family, work, even some friends, not only diminishes the humanity of Black women, it exacerbates the stress and health disparities that we face.

Actionable Tip: Set boundaries and prioritize self-care. Note: Self-care goes beyond bubble baths and other more superficial activities. There’s nothing wrong with a good massage, certainly. But in this context, self-care also might mean saying no to additional responsibilities at work if you’re at capacity, or even seeking support from a therapist to navigate the pressures of being perceived as a “superwoman” and identify how to erect firm boundaries against this misnomer.

The Urgency of Addressing Misogynoir

The unique challenges faced by Black women are compounded by misogynoir, the intersection of racism and sexism. Essentially, being a double minority means we have to deal with double the nonsense. This systemic bias manifests in various forms, from being overlooked for promotions to experiencing violence at home and harassment in the street. The impact of the resulting stress and pressure on our mental and physical health and well being is profound, making it imperative for society to address these issues. But until they get that together, you have to do what you need to do to ensure your health, wealth, and happiness, friend.

Actionable Tip: Advocate for yourself and for other Black women in your community or circle. This might involve joining or creating networks focused on supporting Black women in the workplace or raising awareness about the specific challenges they face. It could also mean offering a kind and encouraging word when needed or some valuable advice on how to navigate tough situations in the workplace. I have a bestie who’s an HR executive. I can’t tell you how many times her advice has helped me to secure workplace advantages.

It’s about Thriving, Not Just Surviving

The corporate world can be a challenging environment for Black women, but with the right attitude and strategies, it’s possible to not only survive, we can thrive. By recognizing your worth, advocating for yourself, asserting your presence where appropriate, building supportive networks, and prioritizing your health and well-being, you can create a fulfilling and successful person and professional life. Just remember, the journey to thriving begins with acknowledging the unique challenges that you face and taking proactive steps to overcome them. 

Black women deserve more than survival — we deserve to thrive in all areas of life. There is no better time than now to embrace our power, advocate for our needs, and build a life that reflects our true worth. They will fight you, and you know who they are. But you were built to win. You lack nothing. Further, your will is stronger than the status quo because you embrace change, continuous learning and growth, and your desire for better is unstoppable.