Treatmebetta

I’m for the soft life. I’m no longer interested in battling against those who are committed to misunderstanding, mistreating, or mishandling me or anyone who looks like me — especially using an antiquated, inaccurate, or impersonal system of measure. So, ordinarily I’m the last person to use the words Black women and fight in the same sentence, let alone in the title for one of my blogs. But despite my preference for a more peaceful existence, there is still a time and a place for a battle. 

Black women, despite being the beating heart for sundry cultural movements, intellectual discourses, and sweeping societal changes, continue to face pernicious dehumanization and objectification in far too many spaces where we must live and interact. So, the fight has essentially already picked us. Now the question is: How do we engage without harming ourselves or our families? 

The struggle against systemic racism and sexism is a constant battle, and the need to resist and push back against the inhumane treatment Black women systemically receive is more urgent than ever. Our unique experiences in America and abroad reflect a painful reality: We are often seen as less human, less deserving of kindness and empathy, and as more disposable than others. This blog explores why Black women must fight against this treatment and offers practical tips on how we can do so and not be physically, mentally, and emotionally depleted in the process.

Understanding the Complexities of Dehumanization

Black women have been willing and unwilling bystanders at the intersection of race, class, and gender oppression for centuries. As sociologist Tressie McMillan Cottom once said, the political subjectivity of Black women is often dismissed as a “politics of grievance,” which is a serious and rather terrible oversimplification of our experiences and contributions to the dominant cultural zeitgeist. This dismissive attitude not only perpetuates harmful stereotypes, it downplays the complexity and nuance of our lives.

For example, McMillan Cottom’s discussion at the Harvard Radcliffe Institute emphasized the importance of acknowledging Black women’s humanity and rationality. She posits that treating Black women with the same critical rigor as other groups studied is essential to fully grasp our perspectives and experiences. This requires recognizing that Black women, like anyone else, can be wrong or that we can change our minds, and that our views can and should be taken seriously rather than be reduced to simplistic, convenient, often inaccurate narratives that end up as punch lines for whatever agenda needs support that day.

Of course, the dehumanization of Black women is not limited to intellectual spaces. In everyday life, Black women face myriad examples of mistreatment and nastiness from co-workers, strangers, and even other Black people. This mistreatment is often rooted in how quickly and readily others are inclined to adopt  and then react to stereotypical narratives that push deeply ingrained racist and sexist beliefs. Examples of these often erroneous beliefs include ideas like: Black women are less sensitive to pain — which can have serious, life threatening implications in healthcare spaces — or that we are less deserving of empathy and more likely to be aggressive or promiscuous — both of which can have dangerous implications for us in relationships and in criminal situations where we are the victim but are perceived as something else. 

The Impact of Media and Popular Culture

The portrayal of Black women in media and popular culture plays a hugely significant role in perpetuating these types of extremely harmful stereotypes. Whether through television shows, movies, or social media, Black women are often depicted as overly sexual, angry, unworthy and aggressive. We’re portrayed as simple-minded, rude, base, without any of the softer qualities often associated with a desirable female. We’re often portrayed as everything except a diverse population of 360-degree humans with a full range of different emotions, experiences, and ideas. These portrayals reinforce the idea that Black women are less human and more animalistic, which too often leads to our mistreatment in real life.

For example, the trope of the “angry Black woman” has become so pervasive that it now often unconsciously shapes how Black women are perceived and treated in various spaces throughout the world. This stereotype not only diminishes the complexity of Black women’s emotions, it makes it much easier for others to dismiss our concerns and experiences. As a result, Black women are often silenced or ignored when we speak out against injustice.

When something goes wrong and we exhibit very natural emotions that suit the occurrence, it’s as if those we object to are thinking: Well, what did you expect? Or a better question might be: Why should you expect anything different?

The Intersection of Race and Gender-Based Violence

The dehumanization of Black women can and does have very real, often very sinister consequences for our physical as well as psychological safety. For instance, consider that Black women experience violence at the intersection of race and gender. This makes our experiences of abuse and victimization unique. Historically, Black women in America and abroad have been subjected to sexual violence as a means to assert white power and privilege. This legacy continues today, and Black women are disproportionately affected by intimate partner violence, sexual assault, and other forms of gender-based violence.

To add insult to injury, the criminal justice system often fails Black women, treating us as less deserving of protection because of the inaccurate images and ideas that result from pervasive, negative stereotypes and unconscious bias. In this system’s eyes, we are far more likely to be perpetrators rather than victims. Further, this systemic bias contributes to the re-victimization of Black women, as we are often more likely to be arrested, prosecuted, and incarcerated for defending ourselves against our abusers. Or, when there is legal retribution for our abusers and attackers, those punishments may be less than the same received for harming a non-Black woman.

Fighting Back: Practical Tips for Black Women

Despite how we’re often treated and portrayed, Black women are human. We feel, we think, we experience, we understand — and more — often all at the very same time. We are diverse, 360 degree female beings, and as such, Black women do not have to accept the world’s limiting beliefs or inaccurate thoughts on how we should be treated and portrayed.

The fight to claim our humanity, however, does not have to be bloody. It does not have to break our backs, or our spirits, but this fight must be intentional, and it must be consistent. And as do many things of great importance, it begins with us. 

Here are a few ways that Black women can fight against the persistently low perception and behaviors that some in society perpetuate onto our unwilling bodies and spirits:

1. Own your narrative: Black women must reclaim our stories, and we must actively resist being reduced to harmful stereotypes. Whether through writing, speaking, or creating art, sharing our experiences and perspectives can challenge and help to correct the dominant narratives that continuously dehumanize Black women. Platforms like social media, for instance, can be powerful tools to amplify our voices, clarify and illuminate our experiences and their impact on us, our families, and on society at large. Further, in the name of shaping our individual and collective narratives, different platforms are also excellent spaces where we can share best practices, lessons learned, and connect with others who share similar experiences and may therefore benefit from our perspectives and information.
2. Create and support safe spaces: Historically, out of necessity Black women have created our own spaces to address the unique challenges that we face so that we can walk more easily and confidently through the different phases of life. Whether through activist clubs, mutual benefit societies, modern organizations or even social media accounts, these different spaces can provide a sense of support and community as well as valuable information. So, it’s critically important that we engage with and support these spaces to find solidarity and strength in numbers as well as solutions for the challenges that we face day to day. A positive comment, even a like, a follow or a subscription can do more than you think, so don’t hesitate to engage where you can.
3. Challenge injustice in everyday life: Speak out against mistreatment and discrimination when you encounter it. Advocating for yourself is not always easy. It can be quite challenging, especially in environments where Black women are often silenced or dismissed. It can be particularly tough to speak out when we find ourselves in a situation where there is a marked downside to any sort of negative commentary. For instance, where there is the risk of losing a job for a woman who has other mouths to feed besides her own and no other source of ready income. 

However, taking risks, asserting your rights and demanding respect can be essential to fight back against inhumane treatment. If you’re suffering in a workplace, for example, consider clearly documenting incidents and seeking support from HR or legal professionals. Now I’ll never be the one to tell you to just rise up without clearly thinking through what are the potential repercussions and how they might impact you. I’ve been in that situation and come out the loser, at least in the short term. 

You may suffer for speaking out, and only you can assess whether or not the juice is worth that particular squeeze. But do consider it. Not just for you, but for any other Black woman who may come behind you.

If you’re online, on the other hand, I don’t think we should hesitate to share your factual experience with a product, service, organization, etc., emphasis on the word factual. There is a way to interact online to affect change or to create a specific result. Always consider that any and everything that you share online leaves a trail, and your posts and commentary will contribute to your virtual image. 

Further, that virtual image has real world implications. People can and do search and use the information they find on the internet to determine how they want to deal with and interact with you. So, do share your experiences fairly. The goal is to ensure that others are made aware of potential pitfalls associated with another entity or action, and can therefore make more informed decisions. In that way, we can all move with intention and solid, fair, and verifiable information behind us.

4. Educate yourself and others: Understanding the historical and systemic roots of the mistreatment of Black women is crucial to fight against it. Educate yourself about the issues Black women face and share that knowledge with others. This can help to shift the narrative and challenge the misconceptions that contribute to the dehumanization of Black women. When we know better we can do better. 

But there’s a codicil here: Those who would be educated must be receptive to the information you provide, even if it makes them uncomfortable, and receptive to the idea of potentially changing their behavior to be more fair and just toward Black women. Not everyone is on that particular train. Be wary of spending time and effort educating those who are committed to misunderstanding, or whose overtures are performative in nature and do not reflect a sincere desire to learn or to affect change.

5. Prioritize self-care and mental health: The fight against inhumane treatment is exhausting, and Black women often bear the emotional toll of this struggle. So, do not hesitate to prioritize holistic self-care, and seek mental health support if needed. These proactive steps to overall health and wellness are essential to maintain your well-being. Whether through therapy, meditation, or engaging in activities that bring you joy, taking consistent and wonderful care of yourself is a radical act of resistance with very little if any down side.
6. Build alliances: While the experiences of Black women are unique, building alliances with others who face oppression can strengthen your fight. This includes connecting with other marginalized groups and allies who are committed to justice and equality. Working together can amplify your efforts and create a more significant impact. These relationships should be mutually beneficial, reciprocal, and caring. But understand that every group can and should have its own agenda. Be sure that allies are consistent and intentional in their support of Black women, and when that ends, or values begin to diverge, part ways, preferably with equanimity. 
7. Hold institutions accountable: Whether it’s in the workplace, an educational institution, or the criminal justice system, holding institutions accountable for their treatment of Black women is essential. This can involve advocating for policy changes, filing complaints, or participating in activism that challenges systemic injustice. Don’t just let things slide, and don’t just sweep things under the rug. What is bad for one of us, is often bad for all of us. To ignore something now, means some other Black woman or person may suffer later.
8. Empower the next generation: Mentoring and supporting younger Black women can help to break the cycle of mistreatment and empower the next generation to continue the fight, or to hopefully avoid some battles all together. So, don’t hesitate to share your experiences and wisdom so that we can hopefully provide our younger peers with the tools they need to navigate the challenges they will face. Empowering young Black women also can inspire them to advocate for or to actively demonstrate change. This is one reason I started my social media series 40 Things Older Black Women Should Tell Younger Women But Don’t  — and the girls are receptive! Check it out. There’s advice there for women of all ages. 

At the end of the day

The fight against the inhumane treatment of Black women is not easy, but it is necessary. We’re under pressure. We’re under fire. We’re under paid. We’re under the gun. It can be rough. Really rough. But there is hope for a better future for ourselves and for our families if we are willing to retrain ourselves to play the game smart, and not always play the game hard.

By owning our narrative, creating safe spaces, challenging injustice, educating ourselves and others, prioritizing self-care, building alliances, holding institutions accountable, and empowering the next generation, Black women can resist the forces that seek to dehumanize and oppress us. We can live well, experience consistent joy, and avoid unnecessary stress and nonsense.

The broader, higher level journey towards equality and justice for Black women is ongoing, and it requires our collective effort and determination. Black women must continue to push back against the stereotypes, violence, and systemic injustices that have plagued us for centuries. By doing so, we not only affirm our humanity, we also pave the way for a more just and equitable society for all.

In the words of Alexandra Elle, “Black women, even if nobody else sees you, I SEE YOU. We are worth protecting, and we are worth loving.” Let this be a reminder that the fight for Black women’s dignity and humanity is a fight worth fighting—now and always.